I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
