You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
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mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
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Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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