D3 body, D1 cock
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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