tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
accomplished twins. life is a go
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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