what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
