Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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