Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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