btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
