end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
