i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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