Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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