ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
