a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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