She said her name was "party"
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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