at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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