I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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