yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize