and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize