Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
