Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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