I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize