i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
