We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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