It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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