You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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