dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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