I wish my penis had an off switch
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
