Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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