Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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