if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
