halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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