Im at strip club and am horny
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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