did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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