Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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