hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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