I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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