dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
