I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
