I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
