oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Sacagawea was the original milf.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
