drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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