my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
