Someone shit on the floor
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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