DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
