ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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