I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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