Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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