Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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