She's JV to your varsity
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
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