we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
