when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Two words: blizzard sex
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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