apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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