OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
