Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
