Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
