How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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