This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Randomize
