she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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