I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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