apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
