covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
