so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
