you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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