My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
