Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
