Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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