Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
